As of late, a robust portion my thoughts have been directed towards male liberation and the peripherally related concept of game, i.e., “gettin’ some.” One operative premise: feminism now reigns as conqueror in Western Incivilization (you, my dear reader, may quote me on this). No longer *can* we safely (i.e., publicly, professionally, even religiously in many cases) acknowledge innate gender differences and each gender’s respective duties/privileges. Another operative premise: given that any semblance of a society based upon traditional roles remains possible only in sentimental (Internet) reveries, a sensible man best abandon any hope of assuming a traditional role and, instead, seek what he can get before it ALL comes crashing down (and it will).
(While I will not give the link to the particular “game” blog that I read [as anyone truly interested has probably already come to this site], I will gladly refer any reader to this pro-male site.)
Dig this: Western women, by and large, have contracted the virus of feminism (and you thought condoms would prevent this, right?). While I believe that the rise of feminism can be traced to a somewhat righteous–yes, “righteous”–anger with men who have refused to fulfill the duties their gender demands they fulfill, this is neither here nor there. The current reality: Women are now as (sexually) liberated as men. As Bill Kaufmann wistfully opines in his With Good Intentions? Reflections on the Myth of Progress in America, suffrage has simply granted women the ability to disagree officially with their husbands. (Too lazy to cite this–read the damn book for yerself.) And, as G. K. Chesterton rightly noted, equal representation in the workplace simply allows women to experience the same form of oppression that men have primarily suffered. (Once again, find your own damn citation for this–I have had too much bourbon to care really about such referential matters.) The greatest genderest irony of it all is that women, in more socially-heretical vulnerable moments, may admit to a longing for the Old Days (what else can explain the popularity of Mad Men among young women) when more clearly defined roles allowed for female submission and male chivalry, yet men now see no strong justification to play the role of white knight for modern women who, only in the loosest possible way, can be called “ladies.”
Thus, what is a man who still harbors desires to raise a traditional family in a traditional manner to do? Accepting that most women are now just as loose–err, liberated–and non-committal as most men, should a man resolutely face the reality of this era of dissipation and claim what he can get while he can get it? That is, from what I can gather, the philosophy of “game.” As proponents of “game” argue, evolution (read: the interplay between genes and culture) provides an explanation for why women crave (and always will) the frequently destructive Alpha males they do and why playas gotta play. Regardless of this, however, my main contention with “game,” apart from the Catholic beliefs that I still maintain (however tenuously) and the fact that a string of random sexual encounters in no way appeals to me, is that for all the talk about freeing oneself from the domination of women, if a man still lives with the acquisition of, ahem, nookie notches on his bed post as the prevalent guiding point for his life, he has not truly freed himself from the domination of women or from his own lust. Perhaps I misunderstand “game,” though. Perhaps the underlying thrust is one that seeks to reinforce (and use to one’s advantage) the natural biological differences that inhere between the sexes, whether or not such stratagems necessarily aim toward sexual activity.
…what is a man to do? What is a man to do who still believes that he should be the aggressor and that, whether or not she admits it, a woman really wants to be dominated and to submit to a powerful man? Hell if I know–I am just another damn blogger. Given the worthlessness of too many modern Western women (and men, lest anyone think that I discriminate–even though I do) in regard to long term relationships, I would think that more men would start reconsidering the freedom of celibacy. Options: A boxing lesson followed by a Barry Hannah novel and bourbon or an evening of dull conversation spent counting how easily Ms. Hottie gets distracted by any nearby motion–other guys, other girls, passing cars, falling leaves, squirrels across the street, invisible kittens, thought bubbles of passing cartoon characters, etc.? Of course, I exaggerate for comical effect–more than likely you know that she will not be that hot.
bourbonapocalypse 
Before everyone starts flooding in to provide the answers to these questions, please consider this question as well: Given that my wife (as good and wonderful and reasonable as she may otherwise be) has contracted the virus of feminism, how do I raise my children in a traditional manner?
Thank you.
The difficulty with any online interaction is that sometimes I don’t know if a person is commenting in “good faith” or is responding with the same type of sarcasm I usually dish out when writing.
Todd, if you are asking this tongue-in-cheek, that is fine–I appreciate the humor. If you are asking this in all seriousness, brother, I wish I knew. In the (rare) event that I am even able to ask the right questions, I doubt that I will be able to offer anything more substantial in way of an answer.
However, this might be a good time to say this: for any “silent” reader, now is your time to comment if you think that you can contribute. Believe me, I am not nearly as misanthropic as I may lead one to believe I am through my entries and would look forward to the exchange.
Well, I was trying to be a little funny, but I am commenting in whole-hearted solidarity with you! : )
And I appreciate your formulation of these common themes. This post in particular has an interesting combination of certainty and open-ended questions. I don’t often see someone as certain of the decline of western civilization, yet without proposing their own brand of political or religious solution. It’s hard to find people who believe in the Church (truth, beauty, etc.) but without grabbing a banner and hopping on one of the bandwagons.
I’m assuming a lot perhaps from the little I’ve read from you, but so far I’m with you.
Anyway, I’m about 5 yrs older, but quite a bit less well-read. I’ve come to this game only lately and my problems are slightly different. Example: How to raise kids and ease my wife towards this (I think) much saner view of things (or at least out of the hypnosis of mainline culture into a more examined way of thinking).
Okay, in thinking about this, I will wager a few things. If I am totally off-base, well, then I am off-base and wrong. However, I suppose risking an answer and then “owning” it is more respectable than avoiding a question for fear that I may look…wrong.
How does a father raise a traditional family in a society that cannot in any way be considered traditional, especially if he does not receive encouragement from those who are closest to him? Given that I am neither married nor with children, anything I say should be valued accordingly. Here are few scattered coin tosses:
1). Align oneself first and foremost with a faith tradition. I am Catholic, so, of course, my sympathies reside with the Catholic Church. Unfortunately, many–too many–Catholic churches are more concerned with propagating the message of unfettered illegal immigration and “Buddy- Christ-Loves-You-Just-as-You-Are-(Especially-if-You-Are-an-Illegal-Immigrant)” to provide much help for fathers. However, regardless of the current crisis in the Catholic church, one still has recourse to the Sacraments and the always relevant teachings of the Church throughout the ages. Also, groups like the Knights of Columbus may provide a good outlet in which to surround oneself with good men. My official endorsement of Catholicism aside, the Orthodox Church and the more conservative mainline Protestant churches can also offer places of refuge for the weary father. Foundational point: a man must first have a reservoir of faith from which to drink if he is to refresh anyone else, namely, his family.
2). Re-evaluate your realm. Translation: Since much of modern culture is rot and rubbish, why expose yourself and your children to it? Let me first clarify: I am by no means a “pietistic isolationist” who believes that Christians must be known by their penchant for unfashionable denim outfits, taste for cheesy and safe but god-awfully dull movies, neurotically obsessive conversations about modesty, a distrust of any writer after Jane Austin, a paralyzing fear of near occasions of sin that includes sidewalks, etc. I watch movies (Criterion Collection for the most part), I listen to modern music (just try taking away my Pogues, Townes van Zandt, Cure, Arcade Fire, and Mazzy Star albums), I read modern writers (have to support my Mississippi boy Barry Hannah), I go out to my local bar on Friday night (even, upon occasion, talking to pretty women), I sometimes even shop at The Express for Men (okay, this I cannot really justify…). However–however, a father is the gatekeeper for his children. Not only should he seek to protect himself and his children from poisonous influences, he should seek to foster for himself and his children a true delight in the Western humanities–that which is best in music, literature, art, etc. Aforementioned admissions aside, I stopped watching TV, for the most part, back in ’99, and I have not looked back since then. Apart from the few modern artists that I currently enjoy, my listening tastes are heavily steeped in classical music. I rarely, if ever, listen to the radio. I avoid most magazines. I try to avert my eyes and thoughts from the ubiquitous advertisements that clutter both our living and mental spaces. I judiciously limit my interaction with people, both good and bad. All of this allows me to cultivate a level detachment needed to remain both sane and stable in this buzzing, frantic, perpetual-motion-toy world.
3). Spend time, spend time, spend time with your children. A father will be the best/worst tradition incarnate his children will ever observe. A father should not, however, allow performance anxiety to overwhelm him. The time spent together does not have to be brilliant, novel, inspiring, exciting, productive, “blog-worthy” adventures. Whether a father takes his children fishing or simply takes them to Baskin Robbins, the issue of relevance is quantity time. One of the fondest memories I have of my father consists of a simple evening that he spent with me and my brother making paper airplanes with us. As we sat on the couch in our den for three or four hours, we must gone through several small reams of paper, making hundreds of paper airplanes–some of which could fly, some of which were not so well conceived…Whatever the design, though, my dad took delight in every plane that my brother and I made. As a result, I will go to my grave with this memory close to me. (PS. If a man has young sons, he should definitely get a copy of Conn and Hal Iggulden’s The Dangerous Book for Boys. Fun times await.)
Perhaps more come. As for now: my $0. 02.
Ha, I read your comment after I submitted my own! You may want to retract what you just wrote about me (I won’t cry–much). However, by and large, you are right: I am not a banner-carrier or a Big Problem solver.
Anywho, maybe some profit can be found in what I typed…If nothing else, the time spent typing was much more gratifying than any grading that I could have completed.
It’s great advice.
What do you think of the fact that the only way I get the grounding you mention in #1 is through reading? Does that even count for what you had in mind? I’d never give up my reading, but I do lack actual contact of the type you’re talking about and I wonder how much I’m missing because of it.
Overall this has provided the most encouragement: “A father will be the best/worst tradition incarnate his children will ever observe.” Thank you.
Thanks.
Per your question: I understand, I think, your situation. While personally I cannot say that reading can/will function as an adequate substitute for a church or a group of like-minded people, I don’t think this is what you are saying, is it? Rather, I read you as saying that one can have all the necessary “social and religious” supports but, given the times, these supports may still fall far short of what they once were and of what a man today needs.
I, too, find a significant portion of my grounding in reading. In fact, most of the convictions that I still hold have come to me, in some way or another, through reading and not through direct contact with other people (though, this is not to say that they are not confirmed elsewhere or later “fleshed-out” through, um, the flesh…). Hell, the reason why I maintain a blog is to give me a “conversational” outlet for thoughts that most of my “non-on-line” friends would not/could not discuss.
While I believe that certain institutions still provide light, I think the light has become dimmer and the paths have become much darker and that much more fumbling and groping through dark must be our lot. Then again, I guess for those of us who will never know the thrill of geographical exploration, this exploration for a way out of “everyday nihilism” might be the only adventure we have available to us.
I guess my problem is that my convictions rarely do get “fleshed-out” through the flesh. : ) I’m new to Catholicism and have few friends (one maybe, that I rarely see) that see things as I now see them… So I appreciate the conversational outlet!
Oh, please do not misunderstand me! The convictions that usually get “fleshed out” in my life are the ones that remind me of Original Sin and my perpetual need for grace.
By the way: Welcome to Mother Church. As I am sure that you are discovering, you have become a part of a very twisted family indeed.
Ah.
You keep making Binx references, but this reminds me of Dr. Thomas More.
You’ll have to talk more about, how you’ve re-evaluated your realm. Maybe in a future post. (or maybe you’ve done it already??)
I am always up for a re-evaluation. (Not like I need to have my arm twisted to read
one of my modern patron saints Walker Percy, though…)