I am currently working on a musical autobiography (it will be good, boys and girls), but until then, I will leave you with this. The artist Jewel is one of two artists to whom I have ever written a fan letter. (The other artist will you know only if you read my forthcoming post.)

As with most women, men must ignore the past. For every guy a woman has claimed to have been with, she has probably been with trice that amount. Cruel, but true. Women–you know I am right. Anyway, disregarding the fact she, most likely, had a romance with Sean Penn, here is my video ode to this mammiferous poetess: