While I am working on a more substantial post (translation: I have written what I think is a decent paragraph, have saved it to a Word document, and have planned to revisit it shortly), I will note the following (much of this has been inspired by recent whirlwind visit to Scranton, Pennsylvania, and New York City in order to fulfill all the duties proper to a best man and will be written on three hours of sleep plus jet lag…):

“Everyone should have a friend who will–without prior experience–drive in downtown New York City traffic in order to shuffle around his best friend’s new in-laws. Such a friend will likely find that he has a friend who will, in turn, run with him through the subway and Penn Station in order to help him make a train that a rude attendant only begrudging helped them locate.”

“Every city should have women as beautiful as the women of New York City; however, no other city should ever actually want to be New York City.”

“If only the girls of Pennsylvania were as beautiful as the state’s topography, then perhaps as many men would not have gone underground to work in the mines as did…”

“Every block should have its own bar, pub, or tavern in order to foster a fierce local loyalty, thus turning a walk across the street into an exotic, if not risky, experience.”

“The same rightful disgust that should be displayed toward those who loudly ramble about literary theories or philosophical systems or art projects in public should also be directed toward well-dressed men (or women, as I must allow) who loudly broadcast the details of their latest business meeting in public. At least the former, while perhaps subjectively deficient, discuss things that objectively matter; the same cannot be said for the latter.”

“The ‘Bless you’ of a young boy after a sneeze in airport transit can nearly offset all the proverbial Yankee rudeness one may encounter in a weekend.”

“Planes rides allow strangers (TSA) to touch others for their own perceived good as well as allow one to drink respectably at 9:30 in the morning. How does one maintain this freedom day-to-day?”